Today's tale from Watnall Hall is from 28th October 1881 when the young Watnall heir Lancelot Rolleston and 21-year-old Lady Maud Dalzell got engaged. A diary entry by Lady Maud's Canadian grandma gives us an insight into the young couple's feelings for each other and their finances at the time of their engagement. Is it a marriage of convenience, an alliance for the betterment of the mutual families or is it a true love match? Read on to find out...
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| The happy couple on their wedding day Feb 25th 1882 |
Diary of Amelia Ryerse Harris of Eldon House, London, Ontario, Canada
- 1881 Oct 28 … Sarah tells me that [her daughter] Maude is to be married to Launcelot. She is much pleased with the match. She likes him very much. He has three or four thousand £s a year. She, Maude, refused a much better match in point of money, a gentleman worth 30,000£s a year. …
- 1882 Feb 15 - My cold better. I had letters from Sarah, Mary & Teresa, all well and appear to be well pleased with Maude’s approaching marriage.
- 1882 Feb 17 - Wrote to Maude Dalzell.
- 1882 Feb 17 - Wrote to Maude Dalzell.
- 1882 Feb 25 - Heard from Sophia. She is not coming home for another week. Maude Dalzell is married today to Mr Rolleston of Watnell Hall, Nottinghamshire. I pray God to bless them. Mrs Beddome & Miss Glass called. Mr Griffin called. Edward came to dinner. I sent papers to all my daughters in England containing a biographical sketch of Dr Ryerson’s life.
[Amelia Harris closed her diary on 25 February 1882. She died four weeks later on 24 March 1882.]So as we can see, it was indeed the couple's feelings for each other than won through, Lady Maud forsaking around £26,000 per year income (a very substantial amount in 1881).
Did Lady Maud bring much money to the marriage?
Contrary to the received wisdom, Lady Maud's dowry did not amount to a great deal. Her father was a middle-ranking army officer and a younger son of the Dalzell family. He did not inherit much of the family wealth nor did he ever inherit his father's title Earl of Carnwath. It passed via his brothers and their sons. Lady Maud's younger brother eventually inherited the title after her father's death and she was allowed to claim the title of "Lady" Maud by Royal Warrant of Precedence.
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| Amelia Ryerse Harris from the Eldon House Collection circa 1854 |
Who was Lady Maud's grandmother, Amelia Ryerse Harris?
The author of the diary was Lady Maud's grandmother, Amelia Ryerse Harris of Eldon House, London, Onrario in Canada. Eldon House is kept today as a museum to early Canadian colonial life...
"In many ways, the story of Eldon House begins with Amelia Ryerse Harris. An early colonial Canadian woman, she faced the changes of country and city life, as well as changes in politics, social history, and changes in financial and familial status. Throughout her long life, Amelia was an impactful member of the Harris Family. A matriarch raising twelve children, she was renowned for her character and sense, and she became a central part, of the history of Eldon House, and London, Upper Canada, then Ontario, as one of the City’s founding women."
Captain John Harris met his wife Amelia Ryerse in 1815. The Ryerse family were prominent Canadians and British Loyalists. The pair married in June 1815 and had twelve children; ten survived and grew up in Eldon House. On 10 September 1834, Amelia, John and their then eight children moved into Eldon House and occupied it thereafter for the next 125 years. Their seven daughters were distinguished members of the London social scene and some married members of the British military including her daughter Sarah, Lady Maud's mother...
Amelia's daughter, Lady Maud's mother, was Sarah Bushby Harris. She married Captain Robert Dalzell of the Grenadier Guards. They met when he was serving with his regiment in Canada and they married in 1846 in London, Ontario.
After living a year in Toronto, she accompanied him when his regiment returned to England in 1847. He sees action in the Crimea. His beard is unusual for a British army officer but in the freezing conditions of the Crimea they were allowed to grow and then keep their beards almost as battle honours. In 1857 he retires having been severely wounded at Sevastapol.
Maud was born in 1859 in Bruges.
In 1861, aged 1, Maud and her family move from Bruges to St. Leonards near Hastings and the census records in 1871 and 1881 (when Maud is aged 21) show them living in Torquay, Devon.
It is just outside of Torquay that Maud and Lancelot get married.
After Robert's death Sarah moves to Watnall Hall and lives as resident matriarch there until her death in 1916 aged 95.
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| Feb 25th 1882 - Lady Maud and Lancelot Rolleston get married. |
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| Xmas 1910 at Watnall Hall - various family members sign headed notepaper including Lady Maud at the top, her husband Lancelot, mum Sarah and brother Arthur. |
More from Amelia Harris' Diary
There are some very interesting thoughts and anecdotes about Lady Maud's father, his illness, his financial worries and how it impacted his (at times) troubled relationship with the wider Harris family. The diary covers the first meeting of Lady Maud's mother Sarah and father Colonel Robert Dalzell when he was posted to Canada and the events that followed until here death in 1882.
Sarah Harris and Col Dalzell from her mother Amelia Harris's diary...
When John Harris died in 1850, Amelia’s family at Eldon House comprised eight children ranging in age from twenty-seven to eleven. Two of them had married: Sarah, the eldest, had married Captain Robert Dalzell [81st Reg] in 1846 and, after living a year in Toronto, had accompanied him when his regiment returned to England in 1847.
They met when Dalzell was posted to the British Garrison in London Ontario, part of Sarah's family's wider social scene... "Being the home of ten young people, there were always enough family members to improvise entertainment, but a shortage of visitors was never a concern. With its array of young people of marriageable age, Eldon House was a popular location for social gatherings and entertainment – provided one respected the social proprieties of visitation and invitation. It was not difficult for the young women at Eldon House to get acquainted with the British officers of “Garrison London.” These single, lonely, and eligible men in barracks were prominent members of the London social scene and frequent visitors at Eldon House. Indeed, four of the Harris girls met their partners among those officers while the civilians who found Harris partners had been introduced as friends of visiting officers. Matchmaking was a common procedure, young men and women meeting their partners through friends or members of the family. An organized riding party or an invitation for tea or dinner could be an excuse to introduce two people to each other."... "The three other daughters, Sarah, Mary, and Eliza, left Canada with their husbands for England shortly after their marriages and lived there. They travelled within Europe and each of them returned once to Canada to visit their mother.
Members of the military were frequent and prominent callers at homes such as Eldon House. One of the consequences of Mackenzie’s uprising in 1837 had been the decision of the British government to station a succession of British regiments at London. They were to be a visible and vital part of the town’s society from 1838 until their withdrawal in 1852. Clearly, many Londoners shared in Amelia’s lament that “London will be very dull without the red coats.”
The British Garrison in London - In one of several concentrations of British troops in Upper Canada, various infantry and artillery units were stationed on a military reserve here during the mid-19th century. The garrison, which contributed significantly to the economic growth of London, was first established in 1839 to guard against border raids following the Rebellion of 1837. Although its troops were withdrawn in 1853 to serve in the Crimean War and military duties were assumed by pensioners, it was re- occupied by British regulars in 1862 when the American Civil War posed a threat to the province. To help repulse an expected invasion of Fenians, militant Irish sympathizers, the garrison remained active until 1868. Six years later, this part of the old military reserve was set aside as Victoria Park. (Harris, Robin, S.; Harris, Terry, G.. Eldon House Diaries: Five Women's Views of the 19th Century (Heritage) . University of Toronto Press, Scholarly Publishing. Kindle Edition. )
In 1863 they went back to Canada to Sarah's family home Eldon House, London, Ontario, Canada for what proved to be a dramatic visit. Her mother Amelia's diary reveals a lot about their tight finances, the Colonel's poor heath and an un-gentlemanly falling out they had over money and love issues and also the marriage of Col Rolleston and Lady Maud and his financial health in 1882...
1846 - Overwhelmed by her daughter’s [Sarah] happiness and her own, Amelia expressed her feelings on the forthcoming marriage of her oldest daughter in a letter to her brother Edward Ryerse: “We are all in a state of the greatest excitement. Sarah is to be married … he is going to take her to England, Ireland, Scotland and all over the Continent. … You can easily imagine what a state of confusion we are in with all her things to get ready.”
1858 Jun 11 … English mail came … [Sarah] wrote from Baden Baden. Col Dalzell and Sarah are in search of a school for their children.
Dec 14 We had letters from Sarah, Shuldham and Mary. The Dalzells are in constant worry about their money matters.
1859 Sep 23 … Sarah [Dalzell] has a daughter and is doing well, they call her Charlotte [Carrie] after dear Chasse.
Oct 29 I was all the fore noon endevouring to write to Col Dalzell who fidgits too much about his money, which John has invested for him. It is all safe and well invested, but he is always fearing something wrong if his accounts and remittances are not to the day. …
Amelia's daughter's diary - 1861 Sep 12 Received two letters from my dear husband & one from Mary. … He seems to have enjoyed his visit at the Dalzell’s very much. … I thought Edward would take to Sarah. She certainly succeeded in making Papa & me like her extremely when we saw her five years ago at Tunbridge Wells, & Col Dalzell too was very kind. They both go to Malta this month which is to be their residence for the present on account of Col Dalzell’s health.
1863 Jun 16 Amelia received a very nice kind letter from Capt Dalzell of the Guards. … He is engaged to Mary Ross and although he expects opposition from his family yet he hopes when he pleads his case personally to gain his consent and to be able to return in a few months to be married. … Mary Ross is very young, only just from school. She is the daughter of clever parents and I believe a very nice girl but she is a colonist and that will be an objection and if she has no money that will be a very great objection as Capt Dalzell’s father looks very sharp after money. … This is told in confidence & not to be repeated at present.
Jun 20 … poor Col Dalzell has had another attack of hemorrhage from the lungs, but not so severe as the last, but I very much fear that he is not long for this world, as several of his family have died in the same way.
Jul 14 I got a letter from Col Dalzell & Sarah from Montreal. They will not be here for some days as they intend going to Ottawa and they intend stopping at Kingston and Toronto.
Jul 15 I was very busy all the morning making cherry brandy, etc and had quite given up the Dalzells for another day or two, when Edward called me and told me that Sarah was here. I was less affected than I thought I should be at seeing her after 16 years absence but she is so changed that I could not for some time realize that she was my Sarah. She is looking wonderfully well and has grown very stout. After a short time one feature after another seemed to return to me, even her voice is changed. Col Dalzell looks delicate and of course older but he is very little changed. His voice is the same and I should have known him anywhere but Sarah I should not. … There was a most splendid borealis tonight. There was a bright path all across the heavens from west to east.
Jul 31 We had a dinner party today. Mr & Mrs Wilson, Capt & Mrs Leslie, Capt Fitzroy & Mr Griffin and Amelia. The dinner went off very well, thanks to Sarah and Col Dalzell. Sarah took the trouble of seeing to everything about the dinner and she makes people talk and sees that every body is amused in some way and Col Dalzell is always so gentlemanlike. … Mrs Wilson wishes to go to Nice with the Dalzells, or rather she wishes to go as far as Paris with them.
Aug 1 … Col Dalzell not well, … Sent for Dr Landor who told him that he had tubercles on the lungs which alarmed him very much. Dr Landor thought them so slight and unimportant that he did not hesitate to speak of them and when he spoke to us he assured us that Col Dalzell had no ailment as far as he could tell to prevent his living to a good old age. He said diet, air, and exercise was all that he required and the more cheerful he kept the better.
Oct 5 Edward & the Dalzells have gone to Long Point. … Oct 13 Sarah came into my room this morning in a great state of alarm. Col Dalzell had a hermorrage [sic] of the lungs. This is the third attack in three years. … Dr Landor thinks that he will be as well as usual in the course of a week but it tells us very plainly how uncertain his life is; poor fellow. Lord my heart ached for him as he lay trembling between this world and the next. Sarah behaved very well and commanded her feelings better than I could under such circumstances and she is a devoted and tender nurse. …
Oct 17 … Edward returned from Long Point not well and out of spirits. There were a good many disagreeable things took place between him and the Dalzells on their way to and when at Long Point. They were all to blame but Edward the most so because they were our guests. I am very sorry. Edward said he would do whatever I and Amelia thought he ought to do. I told him to say nothing to Robert [Dalzell] about what had passed as it would not do to excite him but to offer him his hand and say that he was sorry to see him ill but to Sarah he should say that he was sorry for what had passed. I believe he did as I told him but all tender love and intimacy is over between them. …
Nov 6 … When we were at breakfast Sarah said something about their accounts. I said that I felt it my duty to tell her that if Col Dalzell drew for a thousand pounds and said that he must have it that Edward would send it to him. She said that Edward would be very wrong to let him overdraw his account. I said that Edward could not help it, that Col Dalzell was the last man in the world that would allow any one to tell him that he was not to do as he liked with his own money. She flew into such a passion and told me that I was unjust to Robert. She forbade my speaking and said she would not hear what I had to say, that she had rather not hear it and begged that I would not say another word and rose to leave the table but sat down again. When she calmed down a little I told her that if Col Dalzell told Edward to send him all the interest that was due him he would send that amount and no more, or if he said let me know if the sum I want will encroach upon my principle, of course Edward would tell him. But when he writes and says that he must have such a sum and that he cannot do without it, that he is ill and has doctor’s bills to pay besides rent, education and various other things, Edward has no right to say that he will not send it. Not one of his clients would allow him to exercise that power over their money and I am quite sure that Col Dalzell would not. Sarah said she thought her brothers were friends but she found they were only men of business, and I should not like to write down what else Col Dalzell said Edward was. The Griffins spent the day here. … There were the Dalzells, Amelia, Ellen Hamilton, George & myself at Table. There was something said about Mr King & Jackson and some allusions to their quarrel. Some one spoke of Mr Jacksons having struck Mr [E.A.] King. I do not know how the remark happened to be made nor do I know who made it but Col Dalzell took it up warmly and said that Canadians certainly had a code of laws that would not pass in England. He wanted to know what Mr King did. George said Mr Jackson was very sorry for it and apologized. Ah, he [Dalzell] said, that would not do amongst English gentlemen. We said they were both Englishmen and not Canadians, that Mr King had an Oxford education and was highly respected at Oxford. He still said that such a thing could not be got over in England. George tried to explain and defend Mr King and told Col Dalzell that he did not know anything about it (that is, the quarrel between Mr Jackson & King) and that circumstances altered cases. Col Dalzell turned upon him looking perfectly furious and said that he, a gentleman by birth, and who had lived amongst gentlemen all his life, knew what gentlemen ought to do, … implying that George was no gentleman. … George at once apologized and said that he did not intentionally say any thing to offend him. Col Dalzell’s face was perfectly frightful but the subject was dropped, but any one would have said that George had behaved more like a gentleman than Col Dalzell. Col Dalzell afterwards spoke to Mr Griffin about it and said that George had attempted to tell him what gentlemen ought to do and that he had found it necessary to set him, George, down. As they were to leave the next day, we tried to look as pleased with everything as we could, but that sort of temper would kill me. I was so ill that I could scarcely hold my head up. It was our last dinner together and we all tried to be as cheerful as we could. Mr Griffin was here nearly the whole day doing anything that he could in the way of getting the packages ready and spending the last day with Maurice. The dear little pet, how hard it is to part with him. I was head and heart weary when I went to bed.
Nov 7 This morning I was so ill that I could scarcely sit up. It has been a sad day to me. My poor baby is gone, the last earthly tie with Helen is broken. The poor little health become worse he would have thought it the winter here that caused it and after his impressing upon me that neither Edward nor George were gentlemen and that they did not know how to treat a gentleman, it could not be pleasant for them nor for him. Sarah is a strange compound of right and wrong, affectionate, warm hearted and generous to a fault, passionate, constantly saying and doing many foolish things, extravagant and economical, capable of any self sacrifice, and with all she has had a hard lot and much to bear. I think either of her sisters would have sunk under what she has borne and her future has nothing bright in it as far as I can see. The leave taking was painful. They left at 12. Mr Becher got the Directors’ car for them as far as the Suspension Bridge.212 My poor Baby, how solitary the house is without him … that I am never to see again.
Dec 16 … The Dalzells and Baby had arrived at Chelsea and all well. Mr Portman was overjoyed to see his boy. …
Dec 31 1863… I had a letter from Sarah. She is in Italy. Col Dalzell is very weak, bleeding at the lungs. The probability is that he will not live very long & she, poor thing, is poor & unhappy & wretched. Poor, dear Sarah, it is not in my power to do anything to comfort or assist you.
Jan 2 1864 - I had letters from Teresa and George had one from Col Dalzell. George had given him an overcoat to wear on board ship. It was not a very good one but it was the only one George could give. … George wished him to take his plaid which was new, thick and warm but Col Dalzell declined as it was an overcoat that he wanted. Col Dalzell sent the coat back by nurse and tonight his letter to George was cool, sarcastic and impertinent. He says he has returned the coat as the cut and style would not do in England and that he thinks it would be a sin to deprive George of it and that it is a pleasure to him to think how comfortable George will be in it this winter. The truth was he wanted John’s beautiful fur coat which Edward has. Both him and Sarah gave a great many hints for it but it was the last coat that John bought and wore. … Col Dalzell wanted [it] and he was bitter that he did not get it. … Col Dalzell is a frightfully selfish and bad tempered man and Sarah has had a hard life with him. …
daughter's diary 1868 Jun 13 Major Dalzell called to bid us good bye. The 53[rd] go on Monday to Quebec. … No other news of any sort. …
Harris, Robin, S.; Harris, Terry, G.. Eldon House Diaries: Five Women's Views of the 19th Century (Heritage) . University of Toronto Press, Scholarly Publishing. Kindle Edition.
1871 Jun 10 … Mrs W. Meredith dangerously ill with measles. I had a letter from Sarah. Mary Dalzell was presented at the last drawing room.282 Her mother was much pleased with her appearance and thought her almost handsome. …
1873 Mar 29 … Lord Carnwath is dead. The title is almost certain to come to my grandson as there are only two old men without sons between Robert Dalzell & the title.
1874 Jul 17 - Mary Peard doubts the marriage of Mary Dalzell taking place. Col Dalzell & Sarah are most foolishly making a difficulty about the settlement which is most liberal, it sounds like madness to me on the part of the Dalzells. Jul 24 … Major Leith has been most liberal. She has £500 a year pin money & twelve hundred a year & a … house to live in should she be left a widow. …
Jul 28 I got a letter from Eliza, Mary Dalzell was to be married today, we have all reason to rejoice that she is making such a good match. …
Aug 4 I had letters from Mary Peard & Mary Dalzell. The Dalzell family have been most generous upon the occasion of Mary’s marriage. Lady Emma gave £300 towards the trousseau, Lord Carnwath gave the wedding breakfast & the Hon Col Harry Dalzell gave £80 toward the lace wedding dress. I am so glad. …
1875 Jan 3 … Edward sent nearly all the Dalzell’s money home by tomorrow’s mail. …
1877 daugter's diary - in London UK - May 31 … We met Maud Dalzell,51 Mary Leith and Robert.
Harris, Robin, S.; Harris, Terry, G.. Eldon House Diaries: Five Women's Views of the 19th Century (Heritage) . University of Toronto Press, Scholarly Publishing. Kindle Edition.
1878 Nov 5 I had letters from Mary Leith, Mary Peard & Teresa. Col Dalzell died on the 19th of October & was buried on the 24th. I have so long expected his death that I thought I was prepared for the news, but it came like a blaze, and I have been ill all day. He died very peacefully, surrounded by all who were most dear to him, his wife, his children & his brother & sister. They all took the communion together. …
1881 diary of Amelia Ryerse Harris - 1881 Oct 28 … Sarah tells me that [her daughter] Maude is to be married to Launcelot.361 She is much pleased with the match. She likes him very much. He has three or four thousand £s a year. She, Maude, refused a much better match in point of money, a gentleman worth 30,000£s a year. …
1882 Feb 15 My cold better. I had letters from Sarah, Mary & Teresa, all well and appear to be well pleased with Maude’s approaching marriage. Feb 17 Wrote to Maude Dalzell.
Feb 25 Heard from Sophia. She is not coming home for another week. Maude Dalzell is married today to Mr Rolleston of Watnell Hall, Nottinghamshire. I pray God to bless them. Mrs Beddome & Miss Glass called. Mr Griffin called. Edward came to dinner. I sent papers to all my daughters in England containing a biographical sketch of Dr Ryerson’s life.364
[Amelia Harris closed her diary on 25 February 1882. She died four weeks later on 24 March 1882.]
She was Lady Maud's grandmother.
Notes and sources
Eldon House Diaries - Harris, Robin, S.; Harris, Terry, G.. Eldon House Diaries: Five Women's Views of the 19th Century (Heritage) . University of Toronto Press, Scholarly Publishing. Kindle Edition; eBay - Xmas headed notepaper; newspaper archives; the Dalzell's Carnwath earldom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Dalzell,_13th_Earl_of_Carnwath
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